Wednesday, September 10, 2008

I swore I wasn't going to turn this into a mom blog

... but just this once....
So we use an old backpack for a diaper bag and it contains all the usual things a diaper bag has in it - diapers, wipes, a changing pad, an extra onesie, etc. But when Jamie and I go out, I put some of my things in the diaper bag too so I don't have to carry a baby, a diaper bag and a purse.
Last night, the Fool took Jamie and the bag into a public bathroom and came out in high dudgeon, because my things had interfered with the expeditious changing of a diaper. I was told that I could no longer use the diaper bag to hold non-diaper-related items, such as my sock in progress, a Jasper Fforde book I was reading, my wallet and my cell phone, as it was annoying in the utmost and made it harder to find things in the bag.
I was telling two friends about this today and one said, "He needs to suck it up. If he can't tell the difference between a diaper and a wallet, he shouldn't be taking care of a baby."

12 comments:

JustApril said...

I completely stopped carrying a purse in the diaper bag days, but then again, my husband was not the type to get "involved" with diaper duty much. (and a whole other host of annoying things of that nature - resentful much? yes)

Oh, yeah, it's nearly impossible not to do the "Mom Blog" thing once you are a mom, all the moms out there won't mind a bit.

Maybe as a compromise, you can find a bag with sections that you can put your things in and zip up? It is almost impossible to carry Child, backpack, diaper bag AND purse.

LaurieM said...

Never chastise a man who changes a diaper. He may take it as an excuse not to do it again.

I'd meekly say "Yes dear." and do what the hell you want with the diaper bag any way.

kitmf said...

You need a purse that is some sort of zip up bag that goes in the diaper bag. That way your stuff is corralled but you aren't trying to manage a second bag and a baby.

Pork with Bones said...

Try the two-diaper-bag solution: One that you carry when you are alone with baby; and another for use when the Fool is along. Husband carries the latter, of course, and the choice of whether to carry a purse/knitting bag is up to you.

the fiddlin' fool said...

I like the second bag idea, or possibly just rolling up what I need in the front compartment and keep that section clear.

The reason it's actually difficult is because I am trying to do this all one-handed while the other hand holds a squirmy (and sometimes screaming) child. This is a one-handed action because there are often not diaper changing station in men's rooms, so in these cases I have to resort to putting the toilet lid down and balancing him in my lap.

And men don't get swooning chairs in their restrooms.

yarndork said...

I have to second the "yes dear" comment. A long time ago, my mom gave me pretty much the only marriage advice I ever needed.

She said, "A good wife lets her husband think he's the boss."

That said, Fiddlin Fool, you totally get extra husbanding points for changing the baby on your lap. I know many guys, I'm not pointing dpn's here, who would walk right back out, hand the baby to mom and say there wasn't a changing table in there.

dulcimist said...

I'm with ya, J.

Just wait until the poop thickens and the little hands get adventurous. The dexterity you've built up fiddling and knitting will really come in very handy.

btw, congratulations and all that. We'd love to come meet the tyke soon. We thought about popping in last weekend while in the west burbs

Tola said...

ive used the handicapped stall, laid down an extra blanket (can be thin, packed for just this purpose) and then laid the baby down on that. i sit beside the baby and throw my leg over her chest, then i have two hands free to do the cleanup. looks silly, but it works!

kim said...

Can you possibly confine your things to a smaller pouch/bag that you can just toss in as needed? That way it's all contained and easily moved out of the way to get to that last diaper that has slipped to the bottom of the bag.

onlyagibson said...

Compartments. That's what you need. Or else the extra bag for your stuff. And kudos to the fool for the balancing act! You've only got a little bit more time before that becomes impossible.

Stephenson! said...

Oh please, please feel free to turn this into a mom blog. :)

David S. F. Portree said...

Speaking as an involved dad (and now a single parent), I sympathize with The Fool. Changing diapers in men's rooms is challenging. There's often no place to put the kid except the floor. The sectioned bag approach seems the obvious solution. Heck, give The Fool a section, too.

Now that Samantha is old enough to go into the lady's room on her own (she just started kindergarten), new challenges have arisen. Public bathroom sinks are rarely reachable by little people, for example. Often she does her biz in the lady's room, then I take her into the men's room and lift her up so she can wash her hands.

Never say "just suck it up" to your involved dad. Moms are programmed to care for kids. Dads are not. Sorry if that shocks, but it's true. My wife changed a lot when she became a mom; the buried subroutine labeled "mom" kicked in, and I missed the old Martha. As did our single female non-parent pals, who didn't understand what was happening. Martha was just changing back when she was killed. It's not the same with guys. So, involved dads need at least as much understanding as moms; they just aren't doing something that comes natural to them. They dive in anyway and do it out of love.

David the Dadmom